Upon reading comments provided from both Professor Fleetwood and classmates, I can clearly see some issues that I have when writing essays. Particularly this essay, I saw myself lacking in transitions and points relating back to the overall topic of the essay. To help with this weakness, I can work on my concluding sentences in a way where it relates directly to the topic sentence, then write my topic sentence in direct relation to the topic sentence as well so the transitions are smoother. This would also help with my organization which was a little awkward due to the weak transitions. Also I found my introduction to topics to be generalized. I would have to narrow it down and specify what I will talk about in order to make the sentence stronger. Hopefully I am properly fixing my weaknesses so I do not make them again.


1 Comment so far

  1.    Asim Shariff on November 9, 2016 12:38 am

    I can also improve on my transition and topic sentences. I also had organization problems with my previous paper. I think that the topic sentence can become stronger, if you use it to tell the readers what the paragraph will be about. That will help improve the organization of the paper and it will help the flow of your paper.

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